Holding it all together (don't)

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When you've touched the bottom, the absolute bottom before it falls away, and climbed back, it makes you certain. 

Certain in ways that is very difficult for others to understand. Difficult in ways that define your knowing in a manner that tries to "fix" people. Learning to hold a position of equanimity is the path. That IS the route to giving people the space and time to understand their own energy, their own drama. 

Articulating this when under attack or framed as a cause for feelings and negativity is only learned through walking the same path and being held by someone who could also hold you. It's love under circumstances that create suffering and it's the souls last gambit. Or is it just an elaborate lie to be told for one last time by an ego holding on for dear life. 

Maybe the thoughts whirling around my head are pointing to something else. Even holding an ounce of what it was that contained you for the journey of release is a capture in itself, a method to provide a layer of comfort that "you've made it". An elaborate trap for the mind to allow the ego to sit in the corner, professing its brilliance, when all there really is is self, listening to your soul and being true. That is all we all have. Anything else is an elaborate dance around an inauthenticity that only leads to disturbed and wavy karma. 

Letting go of this final layer of protective brilliance (see what just happened) happens at the soul level. Beneath the mind, beneath the nervous system. It is like someone removing the last disc, the last remnants of a programme that no longer needs to run.  It is not a mental choice, more a bodies convulsions that squeeze and emote it out of you. Contractions of the soul. 

Practically, this is heavy work. My body is demanding space, time, solitude. It is also demanding calories, warmth, safety. All of this is the opposite of what society demands, Friends, loved ones, those closest to you all pay the price with their love. I am sure that the connections we make prepare us to release our suffering. Like making sure all the pieces of a puzzle are available. The resilience is in finding the pieces. Don't stop seeking them. If you are reading this then you have fallen upon it because you are seeking the answers. You already know them. It's about uncovering them. Letting go of your untruths and adaptations to see the pure self. You. A manifestation of God. 

 

 

 

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