Where does the pain live?
Pain lives within. Each scar you carry creates a lens that you seek to uncover in order for you to keep safe in the world (avoidance of the same pain again).
If you were made to feel small, inferior, then that is a lens you will view your world through. Looking, feeling, identifying any opportunity to attach that pain to a current experience to so you can react and control in order to protect yourself.
Your response when you identify a threat to your emotional state? Well that could be anger, submission, argument, fawning. It could be any innumerable response based on your adaptation methods, in turn based on your environment, personality and when the scar was formed.
Complex really. And simple too.
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